Chasing Away Negativity + Things I Love About Being Pregnant | Day 11 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

I hope you all don’t mind me being honest and frank. I see this blog as an avenue of sharing my daily thoughts, feelings, and even struggles (and then triumphs over struggles through Him)…

Sometimes, in moments of weakness, I find myself getting disheartened. On March 23rd, I was just a regular 32 week pregnant lady! All I wanted to do was enjoy the last 8 weeks of pregnancy like any other expecting mommy. You know – putting finishing touches on the nursery, enjoying cute maternity summer clothes, picking up last minute baby items, and most importantly  -- having lots of date nights with Daniel, taking advantage of the last days as a family of two.  Then it all changed as I was 'sentenced' to a 3 week hospital stay!

I have to fight those "poor me" thoughts. The second they come into my head they have to be squashed or I will immediately spiral into a cycle of self pity. After all, who am I to complain? I have a loving husband, a healthy baby inside of me (where she should be!), a great prognosis for an uncomplicated rest of the pregnancy, a loving church family, supportive relatives, and most importantly a God who is in control!

See. There. By just listing how abundantly blessed I am, I can’t even remember why I started feeling sorry for myself in the first place! It’s all about perspective and attitude. ‘What you focus on expands.’ (April O Magazine, p.77). Today I choose to focus on my blessings and the Creator who gave them to me. Will you join me in doing so on this Lord’s Day?

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I just finished watching Bible study and worship services of the Hardin congregation (thanks Daniel for skyping them to me!). While it’s not the same as being there, it helped me feel a part of the congregation that I’ve so dearly missed! The blessings of opening His Word, studying from it, focusing on the ultimate sacrifice, hearing and singing songs of praise, and going before God’s throne in prayer lifted my spirits and wiped away any hint of negativity I was feeling earlier this morning when I wrote the words above.

In fact, I almost erased that first paragraph to leave behind no record of the ‘Debbie Downer’ I was being. However, I decided to leave them to share with you my struggles - yes, I am a real person. Perhaps you struggle sometimes similarly. If you do, let me make one last plea for you to give thanks for the blessings in your life, focusing on them and on the God who gave them to you!

Join me in thanksgiving! “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” [2 Corinthians 9:15]

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Did you think that I had forgotten a list for today? Umm... Okay, I'll admit it. I almost did forget.


My Favorite Things About Being Pregnant:

1. Hearing baby's heartbeat. The first time D and I heard her heartbeat was at an U/S we had after I was spotting. We were afraid that we would never have the chance to hear her heartbeat; but there it was at a little over 5 weeks! Now I get to hear it every day, two times a day in the hospital!

2. Not having to "suck in". You know what I mean! We ladies never want our stomach pouching out. But, it's a good thing during pregnancy!

3. The kicks and movements. Yes, even the ones that hurt. At 14-15 weeks I started feeling what I described as "butterfly" movements in me. About a month and half later D and I were with my parents in New Orleans. I was eating a muffaletta and starting feeling these weird things go on in my lower abdomen. I was scared! After they kept happening daily, I realized they were Jenaleigh's first BIG movements! How fun!

4. Elastic maternity pants. I remember teasing a friend, Robin, when she finally had to start wearing maternity pants when she was pregnant with her first. But, I didn't know what I was missing! How am I ever going to go back to pants that zip?!

5. Baby showers. I've been blessed with 2 wonderful showers. Thank you Sweetwater and Hardin congregations! I love baby showers!

6. Having my husband put his hand on my stomach and feel our daughter move. Those are some of the sweetest moments to me. Ever.

7. The 'Snoogle' Pregnancy Pillow. LOVE. IT! After Jenaleigh gets here, I have a feeling I'll have to fight Daniel for it. It can be used so many different ways, too. I even use it now during the day in my hospital bed!

8. Pregnancy Brain. Forget to put the clothes in the dryer? Serve spoiled milk? Placed the remote in the 'fridge instead of the basket next to the couch? Just blame it on pregnancy brain!

9. Hiccups! (Hers, not mine...)

10. Knowing that soon, she'll be here and Daniel and I will embark on the best adventure of our lives!

You Put Flowers WHERE?

Mom came into the hospital room with bags full of goodies for me, including some BEAUTIFUL flowers! I love flowers, don't you? They just brighten up my day!

Well, after about an hour of having these flowers on the cabinet next to the bed, I couldn't take it anymore. The constant heavy fragrance was killing my already pounding head. So, reluctantly, we banished them to the bathroom...

I almost felt sorry for those poor little flowers destined to spend their lives in an undesirable place. But, after several bathroom trips (remember, a pregnant woman's bladder is almost never empty), I realized how GOOD they made the bathroom smell. By putting something pretty in an otherwise grim place, the whole room was transformed.

Likewise, we as Christians, should not be afraid to place our "pretty" (spiritually speaking) selves amongst the more "grim" (again, spiritually speaking). A flower in the bathroom can cause change (of atmosphere, of smells, of visual pleasingness) and be a blessing wherever it goes -- a Christian in the life of a non-Christian can cause change (in their lives, in their hearts, in their relationship with Him) and be a blessing to whomever he/she comes into contact with. 

I'm not saying we should begin to frequent bars or clubs. No! Lost people are all around us! Are you seeking them out to share with them the gospel and therefore be a blessing in their lives? Or do you think you're too pretty to associate with those sinners?

Our Savior came "to seek and to save that which was lost” [Luke 19:10] and wasn't afraid to minister to even the most grim - for example the cheating tax collectors [Mark 2:15].

As followers of Him, we must do the same... "He who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk just as He walked." [1 John 2:6]

• At work. Build relationships with co-workers who aren't Christians. Or, if you stay at home, don't be afraid to invite your husbands' co-workers over for dinner. Using our abilities to be hospitable is a way to influence others unlike any other. And, hospitality is not just a suggestion, but rather is commanded of us as Christians. 

"Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality." [Romans 12:10-13]

• In the community. Are you a part of a club or group? What about a frequent visitor to a library or do you always have the same waitress at a restaurant? Build relationships here! However, if you find yourself not seeing the same people week in and week out, consider carrying an evangelism bag with you. Keep the bag stocked with the latest gospel meeting fliers, business cards, or info about general goings at at your local congregation. You may also want to carry around DVDs such as Searching for the Truth. Once you have your evangelism bag stocked, make it your goal to pass out materials to someone each and every time you enter a public place.

• At assemblies of the saints. Wait a second... why do you need to be trying to convert souls while you're "at church"? That seems silly at first, doesn't it? Well, it's not! There are plenty of spouses of Christians, teens who may be uncertain, and visitors from the community who frequently attend worship services and Bible studies, but who have not obeyed the Gospel. Seek those people out to build relationships with them and bring your flowery influence into their grim lives!

Remember the words of Christ... 'He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick."' [Matthew 9:12]

(NOTE: If you enjoyed this post, you may want to check out Daniel's blog, "The Christian Practice" where I'm a guest writer every Wednesday.) 

Antepartum Unit Fun | Day 10 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

Today has been odd. Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep or maybe it’s the headache that seems to continually linger (maybe from too much computer time?). However, I’m sure things will perk up when Mom gets here! She’s bringing me tons of goodies -- cookies and chicken ‘n dumplins from Dad, magazines, books, and girlie soap (I have been using Daniel’s manly soap). I think she’s also going to bring some papers that I can help her grade (don’t ask why, but I LOVE doing this!) I’m definitely glad she’ll be here since Daniel’s headed back to Hardin to preach tomorrow, otherwise leaving me alone! :-(

Jenaleigh seems to have settled back into her routine today; yesterday, however, she was CRAZY! Maybe she was geared up because of all the activity going on in the antepartum unit the past two days. Almost all the rooms are full and there are some very lively patients and families that are making their presence known… My favorite has been the toddler screaming and crying on and off throughout the early evening hours (luckily not late enough to wake anyone trying to sleep)!

Most of the patients here are just staying for a few days before they will be induced or sectioned, but there are two of us right now (that I know of) who are in it for a little longer of a haul (however, I only have a week and half left – time’s just flyin’!). I was talking to Dr. P. about my stay here and he said that many patients who are here for several weeks begin to have anxiety about going home. After all, here in the hospital you know if any little thing goes wrong, you’re only a nurse call button away from relief or help. Having your meals brought to you, sheets changed daily, and fresh water whenever you’d like aren’t bad perks, either!

Even when I do go home I’ll be on bedrest, but at least it will be in MY bed! However, there will also be a temptation to get up and DO things that need to be done. I’ll just have to be disciplined and constantly remind myself, “NO. Lay/sit down. Don’t do it!”

(Coming Soon… Birth Story Mondays… I love reading birth stories on the internet. I think that they are an empowering way to prepare women for their special day, allowing them to peer into a world of ‘what-if’s’ and ‘could happens’ in order to be ready for almost anything! So, this past week, I asked my mommy friends to write up their own unique accounts of labor, delivery, and recovery. I’ve got many waiting ready to be posted – but you’ll have to check back each and every Monday to read a new one!)

OH, one more thing... I didn't forget about my list for today. Instead I made an entirely separate post for it. It's not necessarily a 'fun list', but it will help you understand more about the blood clotting disorder I have, PSD. Go HERE to read about it.

Protein S Deficiency & Pregnancy

I’ve been doing a lot of research on Protein S Deficiency (PSD), the blood clotting disorder that was discovered upon my arrival here at the hospital. Unfortunately there aren’t many readily available resources, so I’ve pieced together the info I’ve found so far. (No, this isn’t necessarily a “fun list”, but maybe it will help someone else out there with PSD!)

What Is Protein S Deficiency?
-    Protein S is an anticoagulant, part of the body’s safety mechanism to stop clots forming where they aren’t supposed to!
-    PSD only occurs in about 0.4% of the population.
-    PSD  is usually inherited.
-    PSD is associated with a risk of clots in the veins and arterial clots which can lead to stroke or death. It even has a small correlation with liver disease and diabetes.

Risks in Pregnancy, If UNTREATED:
-    Blood disorders, such as this one account for 10-13% of all miscarriages and stillbirths.
-    Can cause a severe form of pre-eclampsia.
-    Most problems result from blood clots in placental blood vessels, leading to reduced blood flow to baby, which can lead to fetal death, particularly in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy.
-    Higher risk of placenta deterioration.

Treatment during Pregnancy:
-    A combination of low-dose aspirin and daily heparin or lovenox injections in the stomach.
-    A treatment procedure dramatically reduces the risk of miscarriage, giving an excellent chance of successful outcome.

Other Tidbits:
-    It is possible to have acquired PSD, meaning that it only occurs during pregnancy. This is what I’m hoping is going on in my case! We’ll have to have a trip to the hematologist after Jenaleigh gets here to confirm that!
-    If my PSD is not acquired, meaning I have it even when not pregnant, then there is a 50% chance of passing it along to my children.
-    The UK National Blood Service have advised people with PSD  (even if being treated) to NOT donate blood due to risks of clotting (untreated) or hemorrhaging (treated).

So, there you have it! Hopefully we’ll find out that my PSD only occurs during pregnancy, and since it’s pretty easily managed during pregnancy (as long as you know about it) we can go on to have even more little ones join our family. Thank you, Dr. P. for looking way back in my charts and seeing the subchorionic hematoma in week 5 of my pregnancy, and then insisting on drawing 4309823 viles of blood to test for blood disorders. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t caught this!

Picture Day & Foods I Miss | Day 9 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

Ultrasound day today! Everything looked great with baby and she was wiggling the whole time. However, she did keep her legs crossed. The tech even remembers us as the couple with the modest baby! That's GREAT news to any mom's ears.

No news with Dr. P., though. He comes in every day, but since nothing exciting is going on with me, we usually end up talking about something besides baby after the perfunctory questions are answered. For example, last night Daniel and Dr. P. bonded over the love of coffee -- strong and black. 

Yesterday I hinted that I might post some pics today. So here they are! ... Take a look at my little corner of home away from home, complete with cards from the kiddos at Hardin, flowers, notes from a few special people, U/ S pics and mementos from home.

I’ve already almost filled the monitor cabinet up, so I’ve started another littler corner of love! And, as I write this, the mail just came with several more cards I'll get to add!

I told Daniel that we really should document us, together, in the hospital. After all, it’s one of our many ‘adventures’. So, here’s a pic of us, even though you can hardly tell we’re in the hospital.

 And this is me (I guess this can be my 33 Week pic), last night! Daniel brought a package full of clothes I had ordered from Old Navy (before the whole hospital thing happened) and so I was trying them on! Cute tunic, isn’t it?!

… on to today’s list …

Top 7 Foods & Drinks I Miss!

*Note, while I may miss these, I would gladly give them up all over again plus a hundred more of my favorite foods for the safety and well being of my baby!

1. Blue Cheese. Blue cheese dressing and crumbled blue cheese over steak. Yum. Blue cheese is a soft cheese and soft cheese made with unpasteurized milk can contain the bacterial listeria, and should be avoided when you’re pregnant.

2. Lots of fish and seafood. Yes, I can have some seafood no more than two times a week. But some weeks I crave seafood every single day. Crab cakes, crab legs, shrimp pasta, salmon patties, seafood gumbo, etc... But, too much mercury has been shown to be damaging to baby, and we DON’T want that!

3. Feta Cheese. Oh how I love feta on pizza. Feta’s a soft cheese, like blue cheese, so it’s a no go.

4. Cold Deli Meats. Yes, I can have deli meats as long as the living daylights are zapped out of them. But, I’d love to just go into Subway and get a 6” turkey sandwich that’s not heated and toasted. Cold, with mayo only, please! Deli meats have been known to be contaminated with listeria, (like unpasteurized soft cheeses) which can cause miscarriage.

5. Chai Tea Lattes. I discovered this drink at Starbucks last winter and was in love. But alas, I gave up caffeine completely during pregnancy. Although most studies show that caffeine intake in moderation is OK, there are others that show that caffeine intake may be related to miscarriages. This mama’s not taking any chances, if she can help it!

6. Route 44 Diet Dr. Pepper (from Sonic). There’s just something about drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper over the chipped ice they serve at Sonic. Again, can’t do it because of the caffeine.

7. Sushi. Oh sushi. How I miss sushi date nights with Daniel. Raw sushi may contain bacteria or even parasites that can make you sick during pregnancy.

What about you? Were there any foods or drinks you craved while pregnant that you just couldn’t have? I’d love to hear from you! Leave your comments below!

Burritos, Sleep, and Vocabulary | Day 8 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

Yay! Theresa’s my nurse again and we’ve already passed several minutes together chatting. I even got to see pictures of her adorable “little man” (16 month old baby). He’s too cute!

I’m counting down the hours until Daniel gets back from Hardin. When he gets here I’m going to decorate the room (maybe I’ll even post some pics of it!), put on some fresh clothes, and spend some time catching up with him --- oh and I’m going to see if he’ll bring me a burrito from Taco Bell. I’ve SO been craving one for the past few days!

Little girl has been active today! Maybe that means she’ll settle down some when it’s bed time. She has this horrible habit of going bonkers right when I’m ready to slumber. I hope that pattern doesn’t continue after she’s born! Speaking of…

One of the things I’m most nervous about is how I’m going to handle the lack of sleep and middle of the night feedings/changings. I know I CAN do it, but can I do it without being a grouch to everyone around me? Just another thing to add to my prayer list – to keep a cheerful disposition with strength to handle my lack of sleep and changing schedule.

Two more pieces of business before today’s list…
1) Please pray for the Mitchell family of Martin, TN. Ashley Mitchell was one of my best friends in high school and was even a bridesmaid in our wedding. Her Grandmother came to live with her family in 2004 after the passing of Ashley’s Grandfather. I just learned yesterday that her Grandmother passed away. Please pray for this family in their time of sorrow. They are such a loving and caring gang who are members of the Martin congregation.
2) Did you check out ‘The Christian Practice’ yesterday? If not, be sure to head over there to read my account of the helicopter ride and its effects on me: http://thechristianpractice.com/2011/03/30/womens-wednesdaycome-take-a-ride-with-me/

TODAY’S LIST
Are you a 'Know-It-All Mama' or a 'Clueless Chica'?

(I’m going to try to have some sort of list featured on the blog daily. Because, if you know me, you know I LOOOOVE lists!)

One of the fun parts of pregnancy has been learning a ton of new words, some medical some about baby gear. If you’re a mommy, I’m sure you know what these terms mean, but take a look anyway!

Give yourself 1 pt. for each word you know. (Not just a word that you’ve heard, but that you actually know the meaning of!)

1. Meconium
2. Apgar Score
3. Colostrum
4. Effacement
5. Dilation
6. Crowning
7. Engaged/Engagment --- no this is not what happens when he puts a ring on it!
8. Episiotomy
9. Oxytocin
10. VBAC
11. BabyBjorn
12. Bumbo
13. Boppy
14. Diaper Genie
15. Layette

How many did you get? If you aren’t sure if you really know what a word means or not – go Google it now before you count up your score!

1-4 pts. Clueless Chica. You probably haven’t ‘Been There, Done That’ yet if you scored that low!
5-8 pts. Gettin’ There Gal. Pregnancy may have been many moons ago for you or maybe you’re not quite to the parenthood stage in your life yet, but you’ve studies up on some key terms.
9-12 pts. Well-Informed Lady. You’ve got a great working knowledge of pregnancy and baby gear!
13-15 pts. Know-It-All Mama! You’re probably pregnant right now, recently been pregnant, or are just really well informed about all things mommy!

Undeserving but Thankful

Today I had a cheer card, greeting card, and flowers all delivered to my room and I have to tell you I feel so undeserving!

I am beyond appreciative for everyone’s thoughts, prayers, calls, and goodies; and I can’t help but feel humbled by the acts of kindness. Who am I that I should receive such love from you all? You all who are busy in the outside world with work, chores, family, and more…

I’m not sure how to repay you all for everything you’ve done. I probably will never be able to. However, know that every comment on FB, call on the phone, or card through the mail I receive help to lift my spirits and keep me cheery all the day long. Hopefully that cheeriness can be an influence to all those I come in contact with here in the hospital and I can do a little evangelizing along the way (more on how to evangelize from a hospital bed to come in a later post).

Thank you all. For everything.

-Martha