Welcome Home to ... Anxiety?

We made it! We're home! So, why did I feel so ... anxious?


Last night I was a wreck full of horrible thoughts. "What If's" were abounding. Now that I was home from the hospital, I was on my own (or at least that's what was running through my anxious brain at the time). No nurse to come rushing in if I pressed a call button. No experienced person to tell me "That's normal." No OB just down the hall in case labor came. 


In addition to all of those thoughts, one main concern was looming ... THE SHOTS.


As you can read HERE, I mastered giving myself Arixtra, the blood thinner used to help combat my Protein S Deficiency. I gave myself that shot for a good 1 week before leaving the hospital. 

Fast forward to the trip home. Daniel and I stop at a Walgreens in Elizabethtown to get the Arixtra filled. They fill it and I ask about the cost... 


$1500 for one month -- and that was AFTER insurance.


Guess what it was BEFORE my insurance? ....


$2400


SERIOUSLY?! Are you joking? THANKFULLY, Dr. P had given me a prescription for Heparin in case my insurance did not cover enough of the cost. So began our quest for Heparin. It seems that it is not widely carried in drug stores, but the Murray Hospital Pharmacy was able to get some from the hospital to cover us for a couple of days until the rest came in.


Okay, so the money crisis was averted (Heparin is only going to be about $300-400 a month instead of the $1500!). However, that leads me to my next panic filled moment... when I began thinking about having to give myself the Heparin. 


Let me first say that the Arixtra that I was taking came nice and pre-filled, and a lovely SHORT needle. I have to fill the heparin myself out of vials and the needle is a lot longer (okay, its only 5/8", but STILL....) So, I started to go crazy with thoughts of  "What if I do it wrong." "What if I measure incorrectly" "What if I have a reaction", etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...


Thankfully, my loving husband asked Amanda, a nurse who's a member at Hardin church of Christ, to come to my rescue and walk me through it. 


Amanda arrived this morning with her too cute baby boy, Silas, and we did it! I made it through my first dose of Heparin, and it didn't hurt too badly... The bruising on the other hand, that's going to be ugly (and I have to give myself the shot 2x a day)! 


I'm great now. No more crazy anxiety (other than the normal stuff that comes with being pregnant). So, thank you so much Amanda for helping and thank you Daniel for being proactive and helping me to get over my panic.


Philippians 4:6. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Sticking Myself | Day 13 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

8:13 AM

It's 8:13 in the morning and I know in another 47 minutes a nurse will come in here with my Arixtra injection and ask me if I want to try sticking myself. *shivers* I'm trying to psyche myself up to do it! I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. 

I'm not sure if I can! I'll have to when we get home and for 6 weeks after baby gets here, so I've got to bite the bullet sometime. It's not an issue of it hurting, because it really doesn't hurt that bad. Rather, it's me having the control. The control which I normally enjoy having in every other aspect of my life is not something I looking forward to having when sticking a large pointy object into my flesh.

8:45 AM
Julie came in early with the shot today. She knows I'm not looking forward to giving it to myself, so she didn't even ask if I wanted to try. So, I bravely stopped her before she gave it to me, and told her that I wanted to do it.

Then I started to internally panic.

The first step, rubbing the alcohol pad to cleanse the spot I chose, was easy. The second step, sticking the needle in me, took courage. Julie, acting as my cheerleader, said to do it quickly and get it over with. So...

I DID IT!

Yes, I successfully gave myself my first injection of Arixtra. And, you know what? It didn't hurt one single bit. Seriously!

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Things Left to Do or Buy

Normally my type A personality would be freaked out by the fact that everything’s not prepared. But, we’ve got the pack ‘n play set up with the bassinet insert ready for her (place to sleep … check!), most of her newborn clothes washed (clothes to wear … check!), and are stockpiled with diapers (something to cover her bottom… check!) Everything else is just a bonus right now!

1.    Finish the nursery

• Assemble the dresser
• Organize EVERYTHING!
• Assemble the swing
• Wash the bedding / Put bedding in crib
• Accessorize the room (I've got all the stuff -- just have to place it)
• Hang the valence over the crib

2.    Buy a baby monitor: We're really pumped about getting an Angelcare monitoring system. So, when Daniel heads to Knoxville at the end of the month, I think I’ll have him pick up the one we registered for at Babies R Us! (Side Note: I know people have mixed feelings about Angelcare, but I think it’s going to give this overanxious mama peace of mind!)

3.    Buy bedding for the pack ‘n play bassinet: I know she could probably sleep in there without a fitted sheet under her if worse came to worse (there’s a mattress insert and a waterproof mattress pad), but I think we’ve gotta get this before she gets here!

The design/pattern of the pack 'n play:

4.  Install the car seat. Wow. I almost forgot about that one! We opted for a Graco travel system:

Well, that’s not too crazy of a list, is it? I think we can get it done. (Oh, and when I say, "we", I mean "DANIEL!")