One Year Ago: Looking Back on a Scare.

One year ago today I was going through a roller coaster of emotions. Here is my reflection on a scare we had during the beginning of pregnancy and a few lessons learned from that time. Some of this is pieced together from e-mails I sent friends, while other parts of the story were written in the present tense post facto in order in keeping with the flow of the narrative.

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*REMEMBER, THIS WAS WRITTEN ONE YEAR AGO TODAY, WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH JENALEIGH.*


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

9 AM

I'm six weeks today! All of our family knows our good news, now it's time to share it with our church family and the world! :-) I know many people would want to want until the 2nd trimester, but my thoughts on the subject are: *if* we were to have a miscarriage, I would let these people know so that I could receive comfort from them. So, why would I not share the good news with the ASAP so I can rejoice first with them?

9 PM

Just got back from Bible study tonight and Daniel made the announcement. Everyone at church was SOOO happy. 

9:14 PM

Just shared the great news with all of Facebook (through my status).

9:30 PM

I'm literally shaking right now. I just went to the bathroom and saw brown spotting. I called a midwife who was on call (after much encouragement from Daniel to do so), and she said to drink lots of water and try to get some rest. She told me that as long as it wasn't bright red that it was probably nothing to worry about. She told me to call the receptionist in the morning to make an appointment ASAP just to ease my mind.

I'm not sure how easy sleep will come tonight. I'm so afraid of losing this baby that I've already come to love!

I erased my Facebook status about being pregnant just now. I don't want to have to deal with the congratulations and the uncertaintty at the same time.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

NOON

I just got back from the Birthing Center, and feel a little better. Here's what happened:

1) They needed to draw blood to check my HCG levels. They poked me in 6 different spots to draw blood (both hands, wrists, and arms) and got NOTHING! I'll go in tomorrow to try again, so they can compare my HCG levels to make sure they're on track for how far along we are.
2) The midwife did a pelvic exam and said my uterus felt the right size for 6 weeks.
3) She did a transvaginal ultrasound (looked like a curling iron! AHK!)... We saw the embryo and the yolk sac - which the CNM said is EXCELLENT and reassuring for week 6. Daniel is pretty sure he saw a heartbeat, but the nurse said she couldn't quite tell if it was a heartbeat or static on the screen; but that since we're so early in the pregnancy that it is somewhat normal not to be able to quite make it out yet.
4) After everything she said that she feels reassured that everything is on track.

5) We made an appointment for an U/S on Monday at the hospital to see if we can tell more.

I would have felt so much better if they had located a heartbeat. Waiting until Monday is going to be difficult.

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's here. Ultrasound day. I'm dreading it in a way, because I'm expecting bad news. 

Noon

We just got home from the U/S and everything went great. But, before we get to that, let me start at the beginning. We arrived at the hospital and went through the standard procedures (insurance, forms, etc) then waited. While we waited I was guzzling down water and more water per their instructions. I was on the verge of tears the entire time we were in the waiting room. I even asked Daniel if he would take care of calling people and letting them know the bad news -- because I was convinced it would be bad news.

They finally called us back. And, we had a very lovely Chinese lady as our tech, but she could not seem to understand that I was only 6 weeks 5 days, because when we went in, she told us that she was sure she would see the baby move and asked me if I had felt it kick! I finally got her to understand how far along we were, and then she entered my due date in incorrectly, putting as at 8 weeks pregnant... *sigh*

We finally got on the same page, but then more problems arose. She put the gel on my stomach and mashed the probe thingy down hard. After about 5 minutes of her searching but not saying anything, I was panicked. I was sure that the worst had happened. However, she finally broke her silence and told me my bladder wasn't full enough for the traditional ultrasound! So, we had to do another transvaginal ultrasound. This time after just a few short seconds, we heard a strong heartbeat of 120. Woohoo!

I was on cloud nine. I still am on cloud nine. 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

2 PM

I just got off the phone with my midwife to follow up about Monday, and here's what she said:

First of all, she was very impressed by my HCG levels taken last Thursday (50,000).

Secondly, she said everything looked absolutely wonderful on the ultrasound results that the hospital faxed to her - proper growth, cardiac activity, etc.

Thirdly, in my ultrasound, the tech was able to pinpoint a 1 cm subchorionic hematoma. The midwife is sure that was the source of my brown spotting, and that it will probably resolve itself with no other problems.

Fourthly, my progesterone levels came back a little on the low side. The measured me at a 13, which they said is borderline. So, they consulted with their partners at UT, and the doctor there recommended putting me on prometrium until my second trimester. Apparently that may also help the hematoma.

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Present Day:
Knowing what I know now -- how amazing our baby girl is -- I am even more thankful that things turned out wonderfully. It hurts my heart so bad to even consider the what if's?. I can not imagine our lives without her.


We found out later (at Norton during my 3 week stay) that the hematoma was probably due to a blood clotting disorder that I have called "Protein S Deficiency". While I can never be 100% sure, I believe that it was God's providence that I was transferred to Norton in my third trimester for unrelated pre-term labor and the disorder was identified by our fabulous perinatologist. Now we know, and we can take the necessary measures in future (if God wills) pregnancies!


It's hard to believe that it's been a year since that happened. Time is flying by so fast. Pause button, where are you?

Our healthy happy 4 month old who we are beyond blessed to have with us!

{Side note: Our fabulous giveaway has been extended until next week. Be sure to click here and then read about how to enter. One way to do so is to like our FB page, here!}

Green Elephants ALL Around!

When I found the Carter's "Green Elephant" pattern I was in love. We knew we wanted a neutral nursery that could work for either a little boy or a little girl. After months (it seems) of decorating, it's finally finished! Enjoy!

Daniel's talented mother painted the elephants seen here ...

and she also painted the elephants that are marching across the wall! Aren't they too cute?!

That's not even all of her clothes! We've had to pack some away because they won't fit in the closet! WOAH!

A Mom? Or Not A Mom?

I posed this question to an online community full of preggo ladies several months ago. I received a variety of responses, ranging from - "Yes! At the moment of conception one becomes a Mom" to "Absolutely not. Until your baby is in your arms, you are not a Mom."

So on this Mother's Day, am I a Mom or not a Mom?

I know I don't have the complete "mom badge". I've never changed my baby's dirty diapers, fed her in the middle of the night, cleaned up her projectile vomits. But, I am taking care of her every need. I have made my body a safe haven for her, watching everything I put into my mouth, giving myself shots to help protect her from clotting, and more.

So, I say I'm a "Mom". Perhaps next year I'll be "more of a Mom" than I am right now.

Oh, and, I think God thinks I'm a Mom right now, too ... "You knit me together in my mother's womb." - Psalm 139:13.

38 Week Update.

38 weeks. I've had a lot of conflicting thoughts, feelings, and emotions since Sunday (my first official day off of bed rest since March 24.) Somehow I naively thought that the second I popped up out of bed, labor would begin. After all, I had been in bed for 6 weeks to prevent pre-term labor.

So in my mind, bedrest = no labor and no bedrest = labor ... Wrong.

It's not that I'm "in a hurry". I'm not even crazy uncomfortable. I don't feel like a hippo. I like being pregnant. Really, I do! However, I know that each passing day brings with it the possibility of induction and the impending induction date (side note: I will not be releasing the induction date except to family to avoid a barrage of "countdowns" and added pressure). (If you remember, due to my blood clotting disorder, there's an increased risk for placenta deterioration, which means that going past 40 weeks is apparently a "no-no".) But. medical induction doesn't exactly fit into my wishes for a non-medicated labor and birth. So, we're praying that she'll come on her own before then. But, if not, we're going to make it work! Stephanie (doula) has been instrumental in providing me with natural labor induction tips but has also reminded me that many women have successful inductions and we can do it, too!

Okay, enough induction talk ... on to the 38 week update!

Weight Gain: 24 pounds. When she dropped (yay! for this!) it means she has let my stomach become free from its constricted state that it was in ... perhaps explaining the 2 pound weight gain in one week!

My 'Threads': I got a new maxi-dress from Walmart. Love it! So comfy. I also bought some swimwear in case I want to be modest while in the tub/labor jacuzzi at the hospital. Oh, and my 'gownie' is in (pictured below)! I know some of you will roll your eyes and think that it is stupid to have your own hospital gown that will just get ruined during labor, but I don't. So there. ;-) Plus I got a great deal on one!

Food Cravings: STRAWBERRY CAKE. Last night we walked around Kroger for 15 minutes trying to find strawberry cake (or something similar) that was already made -- ready to consume. Not there. I walked out of the store with M&M cookies which weren't satisfying. Today I decided just to make my own, but couldn't find any strawberry cake mix at Dollar General, so the confetti cupcakes with sprinkles that I just baked will have to do!

Jenaleigh is...: sticking to her schedule of being very active at night.

For the First Time Since March 24th...: Since off of bedrest I've done many wonderful things! I've cleaned the kitchen, baked cupcakes, done laundry, organized a little of the baby's room, been to Walmart, seen a movie in the theater, eaten out several times, enjoyed being at my desk to work instead of trying to use the tiny screen on my laptop .... and more. Before I get the tons of "don't push it" or "take it easy" comments -- I AM! I'm listening to my body and stopping when I'm tired; everything I'm doing has been okay'd by my midwife. Thankfully, I didn't lose much stamina or muscle while on bedrest and have felt absolutely wonderful. It's great to know that I can build up even more stamina before labor and a newborn!

"Stuff" Status: The car seat is still not in the car, but sitting by the door. We still need to hang a curtain in the nursery before I can mark that room as "complete". BUT, our hospital bags are packed.

Exciting News: Don't forget that I've been nominated for the top 25 pregnancy journals along with several journals that I subscribe to! What an honor -- this will help get more readers to my blog which could in turn help me make my blog into a source of income for our little family. What a blessing that would be! Click the image below to vote for me (please) -- you can do so once a day!

Give Her Sugar!

My baby has a very established routine already. It seems to involve being active at around 8-10 a.m., then right after lunch, then from about 5 p.m. to midnight! (No Joke!)

Well, this routine doesn't mesh well with my non-stress tests (2x a week). They're looking for 20-30 minutes of baby's movement and heartbeat reactivity to movement. All of my NSTs are between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. ... when she's asleep. And, when she's asleep, she's obviously not moving a lot or having a heartbeat that's going up, so we end up having to stay for a looooooooooooong time waiting for that movement. But, we finally found our solution ...

Kool-Aid and Chocolate.

Wakes the little sweetheart up for long enough to get plenty of movement and reactivity recorded! Am I a bad Mommy?!!? I'm already hyping my kiddo up on sugar and she hasn't even left the womb!

Do You Feel Anything NOW?

Daniel drove me CRAZY Thursday morning! (In a completely cute way, of course!)

I was cramping pretty regularly for a couple of hours; they were even being picked up *a little* during my NST. After he started realizing that they were coming every 10 minutes, he started driving me nuts, asking

"Have you felt anything again?"
"Are you feeling anything now?"
"What about now?"

How sweet is that? He was so excited and wanting to be so involved that he pestered me to death!

Yesterday I started feeling some as well. The second he saw it on my face (note to self: "learn to control facial expressions") he started with the question firing squad again. I told him to knock it off and I'd give him a full report after an hour has past.

He made it 20 minutes. :-)

Love ya, Daniel! And I'm so glad you want to be involved in every step!

Dear Baby . Weddings

Dear Jenaleigh,

A portrait (by your Mee Mee) of your Aunt
Rachel as a child, trying on your Mee Mee's
wedding dress.

Your daddy and I were on our way to an appointment with our midwife when my mind started to wander into the future ... your wedding day. I said something to your daddy about how someday he'll have to walk you down that aisle and give you away. He gave me a very serious look (and I could almost see a tear starting to form) and told me, "Take that back! Don't say that again!"

You see, your Daddy is already very attached to you (as am I) and it's so difficult to think about that day when you'll leave our family and be joined together with a man to start your own. 

However, we're going to try our best to teach you about God's plan for marriage, about the relationship and roles between husband and wife, and we are regularly in prayer about your future (I even wrote a post for the whole world to see about how I'm praying for your future 'in-laws'.)

So today as the rest of the world is SO excited about the marriage of Prince William and Kate (I'm sure you'll learn more about them when you get here), I'm thinking about you! Kate was a stunning bride and I LOVED her dress. But I know on your wedding day -- perhaps a breezy day in spring or a winter wonderland in December -- you'll be the most beautiful bride ever. My baby, who I haven't even met yet.

Love,
Mommy

You can vote every day (until May 18) if you'd like!
 

37 Week Update

It's so difficult to believe that we're at 37 weeks (which is considered "term" by most medical professionals)! So, here's the low down:

Weight Gain: 22 pounds (and it doesn't seem to be going up anytime soon since baby has got my stomach scrunched to the size of a pea so I can't eat much). I'm pretty pleased with that! (the weight gain, not the scrunching of the stomach). I know it could have been less, but for me who can gain 20 pounds in 6 months when I'm NOT preggo, I'll take this one as a small victory in self control!

My 'Threads': If you know me (or at least the pre-pregnant me), you know I'm not one for sweat pants and t-shirts. So, being on bedrest has made it a little difficult. I want to look "nice", but it's sometimes not the most comfy to lay in bed in jeans and a sweater. HOWEVER, I have been dressing decently about every other day and find that dresses (weird, I know) are actually comfy to lounge in!

Food Cravings: I haven't had many this whole pregnancy. Fresh fruit still makes me happy, but this past week I've been wanting RESTAURANT food. Maybe this means I just want to be able to get out and go eat at restaurants! What I'd love to have right now:

• Venti Carmel Frappucino (decaf, of course)
• Zuppa Tuscana, Olive Garden
• Breadsticks and Alfredo Dip, Olive Garden
• Cheese Biscuits, Red Lobster
• Roast Beef & Cheddar Sandwich, Arby's
• Strawberry Cake, Dumplin's
• Sausage & Feta Calzone (from anywhere, really!)
• Loaded Bake Potato, Outback Steakhouse
• Beef & Cheese Burrito (almost any Mexican Restaurant will do...)

Jenaleigh is...: Hiccuping. A lot. Mainly at night. When I'm trying to sleep. She hasn't felt as crazy active as she was in previous weeks (probably due to her cramped quarters), but she's still moving like a champ! She's also firmly head down (she's been there since week 30 as far as I know).

Feelings/Thoughts/Concerns: Once I'm off bedrest (in 5 days) I'll probably go into "freak out mode", but right now I'm cool, calm, and collected (well, as much as a hormonal pregnant lady can be). I know many women at this point in the game can't wait to "get the baby out", but I'm enjoying being pregnant! Don't get me wrong, I am completely looking forward to having her here in my arms, but I think bedrest makes the "symptoms" of a usually uncomfortable time period in a woman's life less noticeable. I'm not sore all the time, I'm not swollen, I don't feel like a cow, etc...

"Stuff" Status: The nursery is about 98% completed (thank you SO much D for putting the furniture together, Dad and cousin R for taking "stuff" out of boxes and assembling them, and Mom for putting "stuff" where it belongs in the nursery!) We just need to put the washed sheet on mattress, hang the valence, and move the crib over a little and we'll put a check mark on that project. Oh, and the car seat is ONE step closer to the car -- it's sitting by the front door!

Stupid Thing I Did This Week: (Sorry Mom, I know you hate the word "stupid" and the word "hate" for that matter...) Just a few seconds ago my water bottle lept to the floor behind the coffee table. Hanging on to the bed with one arm, I reached my other arm down to scoop it up. I immediately realized I had reached a little too far and then panicked thinking I had done damage to baby. Thank you so much to the caring nurse who picked up the phone at L&D when I called for reassurance tonight! She said I probably just strained a muscle since I've been on bedrest for so long and just to be sure to mention it at my appt tomorrow (which I will do!) I know the worry will never end, even when she gets here!

Exciting News: I've been nominated for the top 25 pregnancy journals along with several journals that I subscribe to! What an honor! Click the image below to vote for me (please)!

Going to be Induced? Educate Yourself.

While in the hospital in Louisville, my perinatoligist was discussing how, if under his care, he would like to induce me at 39 weeks. He was raving about this drug that he uses that causes more "natural" contractions. The conversation went something like this ...

Me: "So, what's this drug's name?"

Dr.: "Cytotec. And it really mimics the natural pattern of labor. It's great."
Me: "Wow! If I did have to be induced, that sounds wonderful! Why isn't it used more? Why do we mainly hear about Pitocin?"
Dr. : "I'm not sure."

I now know why. 

Cyctotec (a drug designed for treating ulcers) is NOT approved for use in pregnant women, in fact the company explicitly WARNS against use in that group of people. Doesn't the graphic on the label on the drug itself say enough?

However, doctors (just like the one I encountered) are not telling women this fact and using it as an induction aide in an estimated 200,000 births yearly. They're not warning women of the outstanding risks of

• uterine rupture (even in women without previous cesarean sections)
• postpartum hemorrhage
• fetal distress
• amniotic embolism
• fetal death
• maternal death

Her story may be rare, but Tatia Oden-French's is one that is heart wrenching. In 2001 Tatia was expecting her first child and was in perfect health, excited about a natural childbirth. However, her care provider decided since she was 2 weeks overdue that she should be induced. The drug of choice: Cytotec (also known as Misoprostol). Ten hours after been administered Cyctotec, Tatia experienced hyper-stimulation of the uterus, an amniotic fluid embolism, and ended up having an emergency C-Section. Both Tatia and her baby died in the operating room. Her mother, Maddie Oden, adamantly claims that Tatia was never informed of the risks of this harmful drug, Cytotec.

Maddie Oden, now spends much of her time lobbying for the ban of usage of Cytotec in pregnant women. 

Another reason the drug is so harmful to pregnant women is that has not gone through the clinical studies and trials necessary to be approved for use on pregnant women. (Which is one of the reasons hospitals prefer to use it -- it's cheap since it hasn't been studied in an expensive clinical trial on pregnant ladies) Therefore, there is no "standard", "correct dosage" . It comes in a pill form, which doctors have to cut up even though the pill is not meant to be divided in that manner (the active ingredients may not be equally distributed).

Being in a pill form also causes another danger. With Pitocin (in a drip form) if adverse reactions are detected the medication drip can be stopped and the medication cleared from the body rapidly. But, with Cytotec, there's no "taking back" a pill once it's been administered. One just has to hope that it goes okay!

Even Cytotec's manufacturer, Seale, took the time to write out a plea to warn the medical community in 2000:
"Serious adverse events have been reported following off-label use of Cytotec in pregnant women including maternal or fetal death, uterine rupture …amniotic fluid embolism"

Yet medical professionals still continue to administer the drug.

If your doctor mentions induction to you, please ask questions and make informed decisions. It enrages me that the doctor that I mentioned at the beginning of the post seemed to be holding back information from me. Maybe he doesn't know the risks. How much scarier is that thought?

Thankfully I now know and will be refusing Cytotec if ever offered to me. Make your own choices. (Read how making your own medical choices is closely related to making your own spiritual choices over at The Christian Practice.)

Links to Info on Cytotec:
WSMV's News Story on Cytotec
The Tatia Oden French Foundation

Drug Danger: Cytotec

Birth Story Monday . Baby Andrew's Story

(Martha's Notes: I've only known Holly for a few months; but she's already come to my rescue at least twice! First of all, I was quite frantic about switching care providers mid-pregnancy. Before we had even moved to Hardin I posted on FB about how I wasn't having much luck finding a midwife in the Western KY area and sweet Holly messaged me and told me about Candy (one of the few-- if not the only -- midwives allowed to deliver in hospitals in the area). Then I was have difficulties finding a doula and Holly pointed me in the direction of her sister-in-law, Stephanie! Woohoo! Anyway, here Holly shares her fourth kiddo's birth story on Birth Story Monday -- which happens to fall on a Tuesday today ;-) !)


Baby Andrew's Story
By: Holly R.
This is Andrew's story, he was born December 7, 2007. He is my fourth, and Lord willing, final baby. With this pregnancy, and my previous two, I had gestational diabetes(gd). I was blessed to be able to control it with diet only and weekly non-stress tests. Other than the gd I had a normal pregnancy.

Our main concern with Andrew was his size. I have big babies, they get bigger with each one I have. Although I have big babies, I have never had a c-section or an episiotomy. Little did I know though that Andrew would not be big, he would be huge.

My older three children were born in Lexington at Central Baptist Hospital, but this time I used a midwife, Candy. I loved my doctor in Lexington, but Candy being a midwife approached pregnancy not as a medical condition, but a natural process of life. Candy was a wonderful support and advocate for me.  

At 39 weeks Candy ordered an ultrasound to try to get estimate of Andrew's size, as she was very nervous about him fitting through my pelvis. The ultrasound was done and the estimate -- 10 pounds. Candy said the doctor would probably want to do a c-section. Now I know that c-sections are sometimes necessary, but, in my humble opinion, are performed way too often. This was a route Tim, Candy, and I did not want to take, but it was up to Dr. Wynstra and what he felt was safe. In the end Dr. Wynstra said my pelvis had proven itself in my other deliveries and felt it would be ok to let me try a vaginal delivery. It was Wednesday, I was told to come back Friday morning to be induced. My first induction.

I arrived at the birthing center bright and early and got all hooked up and the pitocin was started. On a side note, I think pitocin may possibly be a tool of the devil. Anyway, Candy came in and made me get out of the bed and told me she didn't want to see me in that bed again! I was to be up moving or on the birthing ball. Since I was attached to monitors, moving was a little more difficult. I must say though that I LOVED the birthing ball, it was great.

I labored all day and into the evening. Pitocin contractions are different, they come closer together than regular ones. At about 5:00 I was at a 4 and requested my epidural, sweet sweet relief. I am not ashamed to admit to having epidurals with all four babies, it was a good choice for me. I kept laboring another hour and half and my blood pressure dropped. They started pumping fluids into me and got it brought back up. It was then time to push. 

Candy had me lay on my side and push, but that wasn't really working, so in came the stirrups. This was actually funny, because it took Candy and two nurses to figure out how to put the stirrups on the bed! Candy had also called Dr. Wynstra in, just in case Andrew would't fit and a c-section was needed. I began pushing again, with great encouragement from Candy and Dr. Wynstra. They got the vacuum out and used it to help me, but I really don't think it helped all that much. After much pushing, they were saying look, look here he comes. I looked down and saw my precious boy slide out, face up. The first words I heard are, "We have got to get him on the scale." 

He was huge. Andrew Nicolas weighed 11 lbs 7 oz and was 22 inches long. He was born the size of a three month old. No newborn diapers for him and the little shirts they put on the babies didn't fit him, way too small. The little hat was too small also and wouldn't stay on. He was perfectly healthy and absolutely beautiful.

I was told that he was the biggest baby born vaginally at Jackson Purchase, I hope no poor woman gets to break my record. It was a difficult delivery, but the payoff was amazing. There is nothing in the world like looking into your child's eyes for the first time, even when it is number four, it was amazing each and every time. I thank God for letting me get to experience it.

Anti "Push Present"

For those of you who aren't in the know ... a "push present" (or "push gift") is a gift from the dad to the mom as a "thank you" or "way to go" for giving birth to their new baby.

In my situation, I am very ANTI push present. I feel like it should be me giving Daniel the gift! I know, I know, pregnancy, labor, delivery, etc is such hard work, but my husband has done a TON of hard work during this whole pregnancy!

(I'm sure he isn't going to like the fact that I'm bragging on him ... but, I'm going to do it anyway!)

During my 6 weeks of "morning sickness", the EXTRA stuff he did, included:

• Ran out at all hours of the day/night to buy me food that I thought wouldn't make me sick (turns out, most of it still did)
• Cooked meals that I thought would be appetizing (most of them stayed on my plate and not in my stomach)
• Ran up and down the stairs to bring me things while I was in bed
• Washed the dishes/Cleaned the kitchen
• Concocted a ginger tea to help battle the nausea (it worked but was GROSS)

During the last 6 weeks, the EXTRA stuff he did, included:

• Spent more than16 hours on the road traveling from Hardin to the hospital to be with me
• Slept on an uncomfy pull out bed on the days he was in the hospital with me
• Put together baby furniture (all FOUR pieces of furniture that came boxed up in a jillion pieces)
• Brings me my breakfast in bed every morning
• Prepares/Cooks ALL of my meals for me (except when we're blessed to have friends bring over food for us!)
• Brings a plate of food to to me wherever I am
• Refills my water cup throughout the day
• Does a ton of laundry
• Does even more loads of dishes
• Has kept (and continues to keep) the house in tip top shape

During all of the pregnancy, the EXTRA stuff he did, included:

• Dealing with my crazy mood swings and outbursts of tears
• Tagged along to 23409832 doctors/midwife appointments
• Been an emotional rock for me
• Asked questions and tried to stay as informed as possible about what was going on in each stage of pregnancy
• Feeding the dogs each and every morning (used to be one of my "chores")
• ... and much much more...

Before you start saying, "But he's supposed to do those things" or "You're doing the hard work carrying the baby", let me stop you. I understand that I am doing a great and noble thing by carrying our child in my womb, but I also understand that D is doing a great and noble thing by being such a wonderful husband!

Many many many men are not this attentive to their pregnant wives! Some because they have no choice (thankfully Daniel's job hours are somewhat "flexible), some because they aren't in tune with what their wives need; some because they're just meanies!

I am SO thankful to have a husband is willing to do so much for me. I think he deserves a push present! What about you? :-)

ERGObaby

So, I finally made a decision ... I'm going with the ERGObaby. 


We already have a custom made sling (http://www.mykarmababy.com/) thanks to our talented seamstress friend, Mel! But, I decided we needed another option in addition to the sling. 


After much research (and sorting through a ton of confusing opinions and preferences), I ordered an ERGObaby carrier (with the heart2heart infant insert). It's one of the more pricier options, but I think it's going to be great for us!

Here's why...

• design supports a correct sitting position for the baby's hip, pelvis and spine growth
• disperses most of the baby's weight between the hips and thighs, which helps to eliminate compression of the spine when hanging by the crotch which most other designs require
• balances the baby's weight to parents' hips and shoulders, and alleviates physical stress for the parent.
• suitable for newborn through toddler (up to 40 lbs)
• you can nurse baby while he/she is in the ERGObaby carrier.
• the infant insert (Heart2Heart) design encourages healthy maturation of the spine by supporting the pelvis, hip joint, and leg position rather than putting a baby in a compromising sitting position before the spine is ready. 
• the infant insert design easily enables parents to ensure that their newborn is positioned correctly on the pillow, keeping pressure off the developing sacrum, and supports the development of the spine and hips. It snaps closed around the infant, holding the baby in a cozy, protected environment close to the heart, as well as in an ergonomically correct natural sitting position.

I'll let you know what I think when it gets here and I start using it! 

You Hired a What-a? A Doula?

The conversation usually goes something like this ...

Me: "We're preparing for a natural childbirth. Our primary care provider is a midwife and we have hired a fantastic doula, Stephanie."

Typical Response: "Oh, so you're having your baby at home and you've hired a what-a?"

Okay, first of all midwifes aren't just for home-births -- we're having a hospital birth. Does that have me jumping up and down with joy? Nope. But, obviously the Lord had a plan for us when moved and were forced to switch from our birth center to a hospital (due to Kentucky's lack of birth centers!), because now that we know about my Protein S Deficiency, a hospital is probably a safer place.

Next, on to the whole doula business. Seriously. Where have you people been!?! In fact as I'm typing this out the spell check doesn't even recognize the word doula! So, let me do some edumacating ...

A birth doula is someone to provide emotional, physical, and informational support continually throughout the labor process. Unlike the doctors and nurses who will check in sporadically, a doula is constantly with you, walking and talking you through what's happening to your body, providing you with options for non-medicated pain relief, and being a pillar of comfort during a time of unknowns!

"So, are you saying that Daniel's going to be no help, that's why you need a doula?"

ABSOLUTELY NOT. Doulas play a support role for both mom and dad, and can even help INCREASE the amount of involvement from dad by teaching and helping him to be a coach to the extent that he wishes. Daniel is excited about our wonderful doula! He wants her there -- someone who can gently guide us through the process and be a calming force  in an otherwise hectic and pressure filled hospital environment.

And get this -- there are real statisically supported benefits to having a doula!

(From dona.org) Numerous clinical studies have found that a doula’s presence at birth:

• tends to result in shorter labors with fewer complications
• reduces negative feelings about one’s childbirth experience
• reduces the need for pitocin (a labor-inducing drug), forceps or vacuum extraction
• reduces the requests for pain medication and epidurals, as well as the incidence of cesareans

Now that you know, share with others who may not!

Welcome Home to ... Anxiety?

We made it! We're home! So, why did I feel so ... anxious?


Last night I was a wreck full of horrible thoughts. "What If's" were abounding. Now that I was home from the hospital, I was on my own (or at least that's what was running through my anxious brain at the time). No nurse to come rushing in if I pressed a call button. No experienced person to tell me "That's normal." No OB just down the hall in case labor came. 


In addition to all of those thoughts, one main concern was looming ... THE SHOTS.


As you can read HERE, I mastered giving myself Arixtra, the blood thinner used to help combat my Protein S Deficiency. I gave myself that shot for a good 1 week before leaving the hospital. 

Fast forward to the trip home. Daniel and I stop at a Walgreens in Elizabethtown to get the Arixtra filled. They fill it and I ask about the cost... 


$1500 for one month -- and that was AFTER insurance.


Guess what it was BEFORE my insurance? ....


$2400


SERIOUSLY?! Are you joking? THANKFULLY, Dr. P had given me a prescription for Heparin in case my insurance did not cover enough of the cost. So began our quest for Heparin. It seems that it is not widely carried in drug stores, but the Murray Hospital Pharmacy was able to get some from the hospital to cover us for a couple of days until the rest came in.


Okay, so the money crisis was averted (Heparin is only going to be about $300-400 a month instead of the $1500!). However, that leads me to my next panic filled moment... when I began thinking about having to give myself the Heparin. 


Let me first say that the Arixtra that I was taking came nice and pre-filled, and a lovely SHORT needle. I have to fill the heparin myself out of vials and the needle is a lot longer (okay, its only 5/8", but STILL....) So, I started to go crazy with thoughts of  "What if I do it wrong." "What if I measure incorrectly" "What if I have a reaction", etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...


Thankfully, my loving husband asked Amanda, a nurse who's a member at Hardin church of Christ, to come to my rescue and walk me through it. 


Amanda arrived this morning with her too cute baby boy, Silas, and we did it! I made it through my first dose of Heparin, and it didn't hurt too badly... The bruising on the other hand, that's going to be ugly (and I have to give myself the shot 2x a day)! 


I'm great now. No more crazy anxiety (other than the normal stuff that comes with being pregnant). So, thank you so much Amanda for helping and thank you Daniel for being proactive and helping me to get over my panic.


Philippians 4:6. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Dear Baby . Homecoming

Dearest Jenaleigh,

It's the middle of April and the weather is so pretty. It makes me imagine all the fun we'll get into next year in the spring and summer -- rolling around in the grass, chasing each other around in the yard, playing in the dirt. Your daddy will be there in the middle of all the fun, too! He loves playing outside!

Tomorrow is a big day for us. We're coming home from the hospital (if the Lord wills). Your mommy has been here for almost three weeks! Wow! And you've stayed safe inside of me and active the whole time. In fact, a few nurses have even told us how "textbook" you are after you're on the monitor each day. But you know what I think? You're even better than textbook! And you've been sooooo active lately. I can't believe that you still have room to move around, but you sure to roll your bottom up into my ribs!

Anyway, back to tomorrow... We're coming home! The next time (hopefully) we come home from a hospital we'll have a little Jenaleigh in our arms. I'm so excited for that day to get here. I can't wait to place you in your bassinet for the first time, to rock you in my glider for the first time, to bath you for the first time, and all the host of "firsts" that will follow. Just a few more weeks until your "estimated date of arrival"!

I love you,
Mommy

Hospital Bag List

I feel like we're experts now at the whole hospital stay thing! Now that I know more, I've revised my hospital bag list for the labor/deliver/postpartum stay. Check it out (keep in mind some items are for Daniel's entertainment!):

• The paperwork: birth plan, ID, insurance card
• Make-Up & Toiletry Bag 
• Boppy Pillow (for nursing and for general pillow use)
• Pillow with Pretty Pillowcase (this will be behind my head in lots of photos, why not make a pretty backdrop?)
• Daniel's Phone, full of Harry Connick Jr. music

• Camera with Charger
• My Phone Charger
• Pink Fuzzy Footies (thanks Amy!)
• Lace Maternity/Nursing Robe -- My mom bought this for me while we were in New Orleans, just for this occasion! I had it at the hospital during our current stay, but decided to wait to wear it for the BIG OCCASION! (Mine's like the one here, but blue and brown):

• Nightgowns, Nursing Tops, and Lounge Pants (-- I really prefer to wear my own clothes, even though I know that soe of them may get ruined. It'll help me feel at ease!)
• Nursing Pads, Cream, and Bra
• Kindle & Laptop
• Going Home Outfit (for me)
• Going Home Outfit (for baby)
• Baby Book (to record Jenaleigh's cute little footprints -- thanks Aunt Ann for the baby book!)

• Carseat (preferably in the car, right?)
• Diaper Bag
• Receiving Blankets
• Clothes & Toiletries for Daniel

Additions to the List Due to This 3 Week Hospital Experience:

• Ear Plugs & Eye Mask (I'm not sure if I'll be using them when trying to sleep, since I hope to "room-in"; but, maybe Daniel will use them to get a better night's sleep!)
• Rain Machine (on our alarm clock --- very helpful when trying to block out distracting sounds)
• Aloe & Soft Linen Body, Room, & Linen Spritz (The Body Shop) -- This has been wonderufl to have during this hospital stay. It makes the room smell like home.)

• Change for the Vending Machines
• 2 Bath Towels (The hospital towels are SO scratchy)
• TOILET PAPER (Seriosly. Hospital. TP. Is. Bad.)
• Hair Dryer (I was shocked to learn that Norton's Antepartum Unit didn't have a single hair dryer. Daniel had to go buy me one!)
• Plastic bag for really dirty clothes, another plastic bag for tiny bit dirty clothes

Have I missed anything?

Birth Story Monday . Baby Noah's Story

(Martha’s Notes: I can’t remember the first time I met Rachel. She was a grade ahead of me in school, so I’m sure I always ‘knew of her’. But, the first time I really got to know her was in band. She played the clarinet and just happened to play it so well that she was first chair. I aspired to be like her in many ways, her gentle spirit, positive attitudes, and musical ability. Rachel was a great role model for me in high school – 

whether she knew it then or not! Anyway, on to the main event… the birth story!)

Guest Writer: Rachel

Blair and I decided to try to have a baby in May of 2009. Six weeks later, I found out I was pregnant!

After a healthy, normal pregnancy I went to the doctor for my 39 week check-up. It was four days before the due date, and I was feeling great. I was teaching at the time, and I had even spent 30 minutes dancing with kindergarteners that morning. I had to wait a little longer than usual to see my midwife, and I started developing a headache in the waiting room. When the nurse came to get me she did the usual weight check and then led me to a room.

She took my blood pressure. And took my blood pressure. AND TOOK MY BLOOD PRESSURE!

After a few odd looks at me, she quickly left the room to find my midwife. Jan came in, sat down, and took my blood pressure. Again. She looked at me and asked how I was feeling. I mentioned that I had a bit of a sinus headache, but other than that, I felt great. Jan said that I most likely did not have a sinus headache. That's when the blood pressure taking became very important. The week before, like every other week, my pressure had been 110 over 80. This week it was 195 over 135. Wait. WHAT? 195 over 135?! How did that happen?! Jan said she wanted us to go to the hospital immediately, and I asked if we could run home first and get my bags. She said no. She didn't want to take the risk of me having a stroke. WHAT? How did this happen? I was completely baffled. This was most certainly not a part of the birth plan.

Once we were at the hospital and checked in it didn't take too long to get a room. We were blessed to get there at a slow time, so we were able to get a LDR room (labor, delivery, recovery) where Noah would be able to stay with us after he was born. It even had a private shower. My pitocin drip was started and we were off!

I was only dilated to 2 cm when we got there, so they had the drip on pretty high. Several hours and no further dilation later, they continued to up my dose. And up it. And up it. For most of my pregnancy, Noah was head down, with his head planted firmly into my left pelvic bone. He liked it there. A lot. So much that he decided he was not going to rotate any further. The nurse practically insisted that I get an epidural. After three attempts by the anesthesiologist, the epidural catheter was in. It did me no good. Noah's position caused labor pains very similar to back labor with is unaffected by epidurals.

After thirteen hours of labor, the doctor (my midwife couldn't make it) decided it was time. They brought in the delivery team, and I got to pushing. Pushing was actually my favorite part of labor and delivery. I was in control of every bit of it, and the breathing techniques I learned as a voice major in college were extremely helpful. An hour-and-a-half later, I was holding my dear sweet Noah.

Unfortunately, my story doesn't end here. There's no, "And the next day the three of us went home with Blair and me smiling at our new bundle of joy." The doctor who delivered Noah was an unsupervised first year resident. I had second degree tearing due to Noah's 8-pound, sideways birth, and he was more concerned with the fact that he didn't really know how to suture my tear than he was in the fact that his hasty deliver of the placenta has ruptured my uterus, and I was bleeding out. I lost three units of blood before someone came in to check on him. It took a very long time and several different techniques to get the bleeding to stop.

Once it did, I settled in to learn how to nurse. The hospital had a great lactation team. They did everything they could to get us off to a good start. It was a struggle to get started. My breasts weren't quite made right for nursing, so we had to use some "products" to get going. But once my nurses figured out what needed to be done Noah and I hit the ground running.

Running, figuratively of course, because after all of that blood loss, no one thought to replace any of it.

Twenty-four hours later my new nurse noticed my levels were "off" and checked with the on-call obgyn. Sure enough, I needed a transfusion. Unfortunately, the wing of the hospital I was in didn't perform transfusions. So, remember that great LDR room I got? I had to leave. I was taken to a different part of the hospital. My new room barely had its own bathroom, and there was no shower. The walls were dingy. And my hormones were starting to crash. Quickly. With the transfusion I received several bags of fluid and two units of blood. 

During all of this, my medical team had been trying unsuccessfully to stabilize my blood pressure (what landed me in the hospital in the first place). I was unable to get out of bed on my own. A shower was out of the question. The blood loss hadn't helped the situation at all. Each afternoon I was told to expect to be there another day.

Unfortunately, I discovered in my second day after birth that I fall into the category of women who struggle with postpartum depression. By the third day, I found myself severely panicked and being loaded with anti-depressants and sleep aids in addition to the never-ending flow of fluid bags to lower my blood pressure.

Four days after delivering Noah, I insisted that my doctor discharge me. I was not going to stay any longer. He let me go with the condition that I stay on bed rest at home. I agreed and left the hospital with prescriptions for two pain killers, antibiotics, stool softeners, anti-depressants, birth control, and blood pressure meds.

However, none of that mattered as I sat in the back and stared and the most perfect little face ever created. Moments after I delivered Noah, my nurse asked how many children I wanted. I replied "Four," because no matter how difficult labor and delivery might be, it is worth it all for the privilege of raising a child.

What Do I Miss? Day 19 of Hospital 'Bedrest'

I saw a status on Facebook this afternoon that put a huge smile on my face... 

It was from a lovely Christian lady who's expecting (due just a week after us). She was on bedrest for quite a bit longer than me (7 weeks) and was given the "all clear" a few days ago to graduate from bedrest. Her status today was about how great it was to be able to attend worship services on a Sunday morning after not being able to for so long! 

How wonderful it must have been for her to be able to physically be in the midst of all the saints that she had missed worshiping with for so long?!

What about you? If you were confined to a bed or to a hospital, what would you miss the most? Me? I miss my wonderful bed at home; but more importantly I miss attending worship services with the Christians that meet at the Hardin church of Christ.  I hope to see you all soon!

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I have no developments for you on the pregnancy front today (or for the past few days). Dr. P gets back from his vacation today, so hopefully he won't find any reason to keep me here for longer than Wednesday! Only a few more days!

Tracy, the night nurse just came in. She was here with me on my 3rd and 4th nights in the hospital and witnessed my tears over the pain of the penicillin drip they were giving me (every four hours!) She even slowed the drip down, but it still hurt like nothing else! Thankfully Dr. P gave the go ahead to take out my saline lock on day 4; but, I'll never forget the feeling of those meds making my veins weaker and weaker!

Anyway, when Tracy walked into the room tonight she asked if I remembered her (of course!) and we reminisced about that lovely penicillin. I so appreciate how sweet she was when I was in such pain. I love great nurses! :-)

Gifts, Ina May, and Unexpected Tidbits

The lady who brings in the mail commented on how popular I am! I don't think that's what it is at all; rather, I think I've been blessed with friends and family who are extremely caring and giving! 

Speaking of... my good friend Robin just sent me a care package -- a kit to make felt cookies for Jenaleigh! The end product will be this:

I'll have to post a picture of one of mine when I finish to see if I can do it as beautifully as Robin! Read more about how to make these super cute cookies here: http://gotthegreenegenes.blogspot.com/2011/04/felt-cookies-tutorial-to-help-pass-time.html

I also received a beautiful "basket of sunshine" full of daisies topped off with a Willow Tree Angel from Lisa and Theresa (two fabulous ladies I was privileged to get to know while growing up):

Here's the Sunshine Willow that came with the flowers: 

Add to that the flowers I received last week from my aunt & uncle, the abundance of cards, and the 3 care baskets/boxes --- my room is overflowing with love! Thank you all!

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On the pregnancy front today... I reread Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth and my wishes and hopes for a natural childbirth experience were reaffirmed. I was starting to completely give up on them due to this whole hospital experience, but I've been renewed! I believe in my body's ability, and I believe that if the circumstances cooperate, I can do it without medication or other invasive medical procedures. However, I am going to revise my birth plan a little to reflect some considerations due to my Arixtra injections, but I'm still hoping to go 99.99% "natural". But, rest assured, I know plans sometime change (see Suzanne's birth story here).

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8 Unexpected Pregnancy Tidbits

(I didn't know about until I became pregnant...)

1. Super Crazy Sense of Smell. For example, the flowers that my mom brought last week... everyone else had stopped detecting their aroma after 30 minutes or so. For me? I was still smelling them for a couple of hours!

2. People Like to Scare You. I don't know how many labor horror stories I've heard. Or how breastfeeding is just impossible. Or how I'll never have another full nights' sleep until I'm 70 years old. You get the picture! There is a very fine line between helpful advice and just wanting to scare the pregnant lady, and I'm thinking some people get their thrill from making us panic! ;-)

3. Cry Baby Cry. The silliest things make me cry. For example, Daniel told me a story about how he went to Disney the summer before he entered fifth grade. That fall when he returned to school he was sharing with the other kids what he did over summer break -- Disney! The other kids started making fun of him, because he was too old to go to Disney World! HOW SAD! Okay, maybe it's not that sad, but it made be bawl like a baby!!

4. New Vocabulary Words. (http://babyhowellblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-8-hospital-bedrest.html)

5. Baby kicks can hurt! I love feeling my baby move. Hands down the BEST feeling in the world. However, sometimes it not only startles me but hurts me! That being said, don’t stop a-kickin’, baby!

6. Weird Shaped Belly. Not all women get the cute round basketball belly. I always envisioned my stomach would be enourmous, poking far far out. Well, that’s not really happening with me. Sure, my profile pic on Facebook looks cute, but it was partially the shirt and partially the angle the picture was taken. I do have a much bigger belly than pre-pregnancy, but I didn’t know that it wouldn’t look like all those posterchilds for pregnancy!

7. Breathing & Eating Take Effort. Towards the end, all of your organs are being squished up by the uterus  and it becomes difficult to breath or even eat much.

8. Bashful? Who Me? I'm pretty sure I never would have freely talked about discharge, cervixes, or uteri (is that the plural of uterus?) before pregnancy. Now, I don't even flinch!

Did you learn anything about pregnancy while pregnant that you never knew before?