One Year Ago: Looking Back on a Scare.

One year ago today I was going through a roller coaster of emotions. Here is my reflection on a scare we had during the beginning of pregnancy and a few lessons learned from that time. Some of this is pieced together from e-mails I sent friends, while other parts of the story were written in the present tense post facto in order in keeping with the flow of the narrative.

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*REMEMBER, THIS WAS WRITTEN ONE YEAR AGO TODAY, WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH JENALEIGH.*


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

9 AM

I'm six weeks today! All of our family knows our good news, now it's time to share it with our church family and the world! :-) I know many people would want to want until the 2nd trimester, but my thoughts on the subject are: *if* we were to have a miscarriage, I would let these people know so that I could receive comfort from them. So, why would I not share the good news with the ASAP so I can rejoice first with them?

9 PM

Just got back from Bible study tonight and Daniel made the announcement. Everyone at church was SOOO happy. 

9:14 PM

Just shared the great news with all of Facebook (through my status).

9:30 PM

I'm literally shaking right now. I just went to the bathroom and saw brown spotting. I called a midwife who was on call (after much encouragement from Daniel to do so), and she said to drink lots of water and try to get some rest. She told me that as long as it wasn't bright red that it was probably nothing to worry about. She told me to call the receptionist in the morning to make an appointment ASAP just to ease my mind.

I'm not sure how easy sleep will come tonight. I'm so afraid of losing this baby that I've already come to love!

I erased my Facebook status about being pregnant just now. I don't want to have to deal with the congratulations and the uncertaintty at the same time.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

NOON

I just got back from the Birthing Center, and feel a little better. Here's what happened:

1) They needed to draw blood to check my HCG levels. They poked me in 6 different spots to draw blood (both hands, wrists, and arms) and got NOTHING! I'll go in tomorrow to try again, so they can compare my HCG levels to make sure they're on track for how far along we are.
2) The midwife did a pelvic exam and said my uterus felt the right size for 6 weeks.
3) She did a transvaginal ultrasound (looked like a curling iron! AHK!)... We saw the embryo and the yolk sac - which the CNM said is EXCELLENT and reassuring for week 6. Daniel is pretty sure he saw a heartbeat, but the nurse said she couldn't quite tell if it was a heartbeat or static on the screen; but that since we're so early in the pregnancy that it is somewhat normal not to be able to quite make it out yet.
4) After everything she said that she feels reassured that everything is on track.

5) We made an appointment for an U/S on Monday at the hospital to see if we can tell more.

I would have felt so much better if they had located a heartbeat. Waiting until Monday is going to be difficult.

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's here. Ultrasound day. I'm dreading it in a way, because I'm expecting bad news. 

Noon

We just got home from the U/S and everything went great. But, before we get to that, let me start at the beginning. We arrived at the hospital and went through the standard procedures (insurance, forms, etc) then waited. While we waited I was guzzling down water and more water per their instructions. I was on the verge of tears the entire time we were in the waiting room. I even asked Daniel if he would take care of calling people and letting them know the bad news -- because I was convinced it would be bad news.

They finally called us back. And, we had a very lovely Chinese lady as our tech, but she could not seem to understand that I was only 6 weeks 5 days, because when we went in, she told us that she was sure she would see the baby move and asked me if I had felt it kick! I finally got her to understand how far along we were, and then she entered my due date in incorrectly, putting as at 8 weeks pregnant... *sigh*

We finally got on the same page, but then more problems arose. She put the gel on my stomach and mashed the probe thingy down hard. After about 5 minutes of her searching but not saying anything, I was panicked. I was sure that the worst had happened. However, she finally broke her silence and told me my bladder wasn't full enough for the traditional ultrasound! So, we had to do another transvaginal ultrasound. This time after just a few short seconds, we heard a strong heartbeat of 120. Woohoo!

I was on cloud nine. I still am on cloud nine. 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

2 PM

I just got off the phone with my midwife to follow up about Monday, and here's what she said:

First of all, she was very impressed by my HCG levels taken last Thursday (50,000).

Secondly, she said everything looked absolutely wonderful on the ultrasound results that the hospital faxed to her - proper growth, cardiac activity, etc.

Thirdly, in my ultrasound, the tech was able to pinpoint a 1 cm subchorionic hematoma. The midwife is sure that was the source of my brown spotting, and that it will probably resolve itself with no other problems.

Fourthly, my progesterone levels came back a little on the low side. The measured me at a 13, which they said is borderline. So, they consulted with their partners at UT, and the doctor there recommended putting me on prometrium until my second trimester. Apparently that may also help the hematoma.

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Present Day:
Knowing what I know now -- how amazing our baby girl is -- I am even more thankful that things turned out wonderfully. It hurts my heart so bad to even consider the what if's?. I can not imagine our lives without her.


We found out later (at Norton during my 3 week stay) that the hematoma was probably due to a blood clotting disorder that I have called "Protein S Deficiency". While I can never be 100% sure, I believe that it was God's providence that I was transferred to Norton in my third trimester for unrelated pre-term labor and the disorder was identified by our fabulous perinatologist. Now we know, and we can take the necessary measures in future (if God wills) pregnancies!


It's hard to believe that it's been a year since that happened. Time is flying by so fast. Pause button, where are you?

Our healthy happy 4 month old who we are beyond blessed to have with us!

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