Thursday, April 14, 2011

Welcome Home to ... Anxiety?

We made it! We're home! So, why did I feel so ... anxious?

Last night I was a wreck full of horrible thoughts. "What If's" were abounding. Now that I was home from the hospital, I was on my own (or at least that's what was running through my anxious brain at the time). No nurse to come rushing in if I pressed a call button. No experienced person to tell me "That's normal." No OB just down the hall in case labor came. 

In addition to all of those thoughts, one main concern was looming ... THE SHOTS.

As you can read HERE, I mastered giving myself Arixtra, the blood thinner used to help combat my Protein S Deficiency. I gave myself that shot for a good 1 week before leaving the hospital. 

Fast forward to the trip home. Daniel and I stop at a Walgreens in Elizabethtown to get the Arixtra filled. They fill it and I ask about the cost... 

$1500 for one month -- and that was AFTER insurance.

Guess what it was BEFORE my insurance? ....


SERIOUSLY?! Are you joking? THANKFULLY, Dr. P had given me a prescription for Heparin in case my insurance did not cover enough of the cost. So began our quest for Heparin. It seems that it is not widely carried in drug stores, but the Murray Hospital Pharmacy was able to get some from the hospital to cover us for a couple of days until the rest came in.

Okay, so the money crisis was averted (Heparin is only going to be about $300-400 a month instead of the $1500!). However, that leads me to my next panic filled moment... when I began thinking about having to give myself the Heparin. 

Let me first say that the Arixtra that I was taking came nice and pre-filled, and a lovely SHORT needle. I have to fill the heparin myself out of vials and the needle is a lot longer (okay, its only 5/8", but STILL....) So, I started to go crazy with thoughts of  "What if I do it wrong." "What if I measure incorrectly" "What if I have a reaction", etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...

Thankfully, my loving husband asked Amanda, a nurse who's a member at Hardin church of Christ, to come to my rescue and walk me through it. 

Amanda arrived this morning with her too cute baby boy, Silas, and we did it! I made it through my first dose of Heparin, and it didn't hurt too badly... The bruising on the other hand, that's going to be ugly (and I have to give myself the shot 2x a day)! 

I'm great now. No more crazy anxiety (other than the normal stuff that comes with being pregnant). So, thank you so much Amanda for helping and thank you Daniel for being proactive and helping me to get over my panic.

Philippians 4:6. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

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